QUICK question ladies: Have we been dressing wrong all these years? I had a bombshell dropped on me a few weeks back that really got me thinking and I feel this is something we should explore together. It was during a usual coffee and Vogue chat (you know the ones, where you pick out all the outfits you’d buy if you had the money … one of those equally inspiring yet depressing chats which inevitably leads to the “what if we invented this …” conversations which you pray might lead to making enough money to be able to afford the pieces you desire) … when I excitedly remembered and relayed to my friend the details of a new bikini I bought … a high-waisted bikini. I’ve always loved the look and – having given birth only ten months ago – welcomed the trend which would cover my stomach and give the impression of a sexy, flat post-baby belly (not that anything else is anything other than sexy!).


She was understandably jealous and confessed she’d been searching for a similar set to start the summer off with a sizzle. She went on to explain that her search existed despite her fiancé’s upfront detest for the style. “He said it makes girls look like they have really long bums,” she explained. As I giggled and dismissed her man’s obviously misplaced judgement on the high-waisted summer go-to, I remembered a comment I’d heard last year by a radio presenter who had been making fun of women who brazenly dished out fashion advice to their male partners. “Who makes them the expert,” he had said. “What if I turned to them and said – well, you should stop wearing those high waisted jeans because they make you look like you have a metre-long bottom.”


Oh-oh. Could it be true? Did guys not even like the high-waisted look? … surely not. My gorgeous husband and I will be celebrating our first decade together this year which potentially means that for ten blissfully-ignorant years I have been making a critical mistake: I have been dressing for the wrong audience.  I remember that even when I heard the radio presenter hilariously relay his encounter with a particular high-waisted-pant-wearer on the streets of Adelaide I was losing it. I thought it was a really funny observation and so opposite from what most women would assume a guy who is staring at them (as I assume he was) was thinking at the time. I was giggling to myself. Actually laughing as I drove to my destination. Laughing at all those metre-long bottoms strutting their stuff on the streets. After all – he kind of had a point. The style really does have that effect to a degree. But then I realised … I was one of those women. There is a very small chance this radio presenter had seen me on the streets of Adelaide, “strutting my stuff” as he had described, probably secretly congratulating myself on my excellent choice of outfit (“especially these jeans”, I probably thought to myself) when he decided the style was a no-go. As I sipped at my coffee and stared at the embellished Gucci skirt I would never be able to afford, I pondered the unthinkable … have I been dressing to impress the wrong people all along? Suddenly, everything became clear. All those times I’d pulled those skinny, high-waisted jeans out of the closet and slipped them on and expected my husband to be mighty-impressed … he was probably staring at my metre-long bottom and wondering when my inclination toward them would end (it still hasn’t, by the way … #stubbornstylehunter).


As my mind floated back into the conversation my friend was unknowingly continuing on by herself, I realised I had done it again … I had bought a bikini which, in my opinion, was stunning; super stylish and on-trend. Quite frankly, I was certain it would be a hit … but what I had failed to consider was that the one person who I wanted to impress and really, only ever want to impress might actually not like the 50s housewife look, or whatever way we gals spin the latest trends. Let’s pretend for a moment and stretch this concept further … even if the entire male population was on my hit list of impressing … do any of them actually like the trends we adopt? Top-knot buns? (I am terrible at these anyway so my man doesn’t have to worry about that); boyfriend jeans? capes? (no guys, not the Superman cape you’re probably imagining … although – that might just be a hit with the dudes). At what point does our preference for clothing come not from a desire to impress the one we love, but from a desire to impress our trendy co-workers or look the part for that dream fashion gig we lay in bed at nighttime and imagine we have (guilty, as charged). I was further confounded by this concept when my new bikinis arrived a few days later. Needless to say I quickly tried them on to assess exactly how long my bottom-half actually looked. Now, anyone who knows me is aware of the constraints I’ve always had when it comes to height. Put it this way, if Froddo Baggins had an issue with dating someone taller than him … I would be a sure bet. So, when it comes to my envy-of-my-friends new bikinis, the high-waisted look probably wasn’t the best idea in the first place (thanks Taylor Swift). But, like most fashionably-inclined model-wannabes I’ve always kept my eyes engrossed in the fashion blogs (and the latest articles on Stylehunter.com, of course) and have often fallen victim to the sweet allure of a summer trend.


Which brings me to my final line of thought … how many trends have I adopted or loved from afar (but, perhaps, didn’t have the guts to try) that men don’t even like? Or, most importantly, that my husband doesn’t like? Perhaps we’ve (and by we, I am referring to the female population) got it all wrong … if we truly dressed for our man – or woman for that matter – would our closet look anything like it does today? Would it cost us as much to be ‘stylish’ or take us as long to get ready? (I’m pretty certain mine would consist of tight jeans and t-shirt). Most importantly, how would the fashion industry look if women dressed for men? I shudder to write this next question, but … would it even exist?


So after all that inner-self exploration and discovery; all the “what-ifs” and “how did we not realise this?” I decided something … and, I must say, I am pretty excited to share it with you: it is our responsibility to dress for our girls. For every sheer top with a black lace bra that guys don’t seem to understand; for every top-bun that many guys have expressed distain for; for every man-shirt with tie combo some gutsy fashion-forward chick has pulled off … we owe it to ourselves to keep it crazy and push the boundaries. After all, the boundaries should be endless when it comes to fashion. On that note … I really need to secure myself a pair of wide-legged, high-wasted, eclectic-patterned pants. They look amazing … oh wait … I see what I did there (totally doing it). Forever yours, the Stylehunter chick with the really, ridiculously long bottom in her new bikinis x

Jordaine Signature

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